... Yeah, it is. I wasn't living anywhere good before this. I tried a few places... they were all dusty and dirty. He gave me a job, he gave me a place to stay - he gave up his own room for me.
[It's... a lot. He hesitates, and then puts a hand on the couch between them. It's... he doesn't want to intrude on her personal space, and he doesn't want his intruded on, but it's something. It's reaching out, in a way.]
... I wanted to protect the world, if it had people like Kana in it. People who were so young, but willing to give it up to help people. I know, I know... 'you're young, too'. But she was younger than us... probably braver than all of us put together.
[It hurts, talking about Kana. But he's never going to get better if he doesn't pick at those scabs a little.]
It took me some work to become myself again. I remember having trouble keeping my shape when I first washed up here. ... It's like I didn't want to be alive again. Sometimes I don't. I know it was this place pushing me, but... I tried to kill myself shortly after I got here. I couldn't bear it.
[But now can he? He's not sure. But he doesn't have a choice.]
I'm... I'm not strong. I don't feel strong, anyway. But I have to keep going.
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branchandroot
cw: suicide mention
Date: 2022-09-17 10:15 pm (UTC)[It's... a lot. He hesitates, and then puts a hand on the couch between them. It's... he doesn't want to intrude on her personal space, and he doesn't want his intruded on, but it's something. It's reaching out, in a way.]
... I wanted to protect the world, if it had people like Kana in it. People who were so young, but willing to give it up to help people. I know, I know... 'you're young, too'. But she was younger than us... probably braver than all of us put together.
[It hurts, talking about Kana. But he's never going to get better if he doesn't pick at those scabs a little.]
It took me some work to become myself again. I remember having trouble keeping my shape when I first washed up here. ... It's like I didn't want to be alive again. Sometimes I don't. I know it was this place pushing me, but... I tried to kill myself shortly after I got here. I couldn't bear it.
[But now can he? He's not sure. But he doesn't have a choice.]
I'm... I'm not strong. I don't feel strong, anyway. But I have to keep going.