[vi often thinks about where she might have ended up if alayne (rip akayne stone you were a real one) hadn't returned, or if they'd never met at all. the imagined result changes depending on the day, but it's always some level of self imposed isolation. several more layers of 'i'm fine'. sometimes it's prufrock, sometimes it's the docks in dracmouth.
that's a lot for someone to give, even if they're too good. she watches him wrestle with this, lets her eyes drift to her own lap, to the omen, and when his hand touches the couch she doesn't move to cover it with her own the way she might with some people, but she does lean in to very tenderly stroke the dog's nose. the omens are a part of them, right?
mostly, she just listens. he'd been right about the 'you're young, too' - she might have interjected if not for that. his pain is palpable without any trench-given abilities, without magic or super senses or what have you - it's writ all over him in words, in the way his face moves and doesn't. she's again reminded of jinx's first arrival - how she'd struggled to keep her form due to things vi can only guess at, can only summarize into 'overwhelm' of many kinds.]
That? The decision to keep going? That's one way of being strong.
[she doesn't want to make this about her - it isn't. so she only offers the core of it without details.]
I've felt that way, too.
[she didn't do anything about it - no hardline attempt - but she'd thrown herself into countless dicey fights in prison - with both guards and inmates - was it in anyone's best interest to even keep her alive? not likely. what had that said about her care (or lack of) about her own life.]
I'm sorry about Kana.
[she just leaves the opening - because it might be too painful to ask anything else, and he doesn't need to be pushed. she doesn't want to do that, but she doesn't want to shut him down either. she's made that mistake before.]
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branchandroot
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Date: 2022-09-19 10:37 pm (UTC)that's a lot for someone to give, even if they're too good. she watches him wrestle with this, lets her eyes drift to her own lap, to the omen, and when his hand touches the couch she doesn't move to cover it with her own the way she might with some people, but she does lean in to very tenderly stroke the dog's nose. the omens are a part of them, right?
mostly, she just listens. he'd been right about the 'you're young, too' - she might have interjected if not for that. his pain is palpable without any trench-given abilities, without magic or super senses or what have you - it's writ all over him in words, in the way his face moves and doesn't. she's again reminded of jinx's first arrival - how she'd struggled to keep her form due to things vi can only guess at, can only summarize into 'overwhelm' of many kinds.]
That? The decision to keep going? That's one way of being strong.
[she doesn't want to make this about her - it isn't. so she only offers the core of it without details.]
I've felt that way, too.
[she didn't do anything about it - no hardline attempt - but she'd thrown herself into countless dicey fights in prison - with both guards and inmates - was it in anyone's best interest to even keep her alive? not likely. what had that said about her care (or lack of) about her own life.]
I'm sorry about Kana.
[she just leaves the opening - because it might be too painful to ask anything else, and he doesn't need to be pushed. she doesn't want to do that, but she doesn't want to shut him down either. she's made that mistake before.]