[Jun feels it before he sees him. Feels that bond click in, feels the flow of feelings and sensations flow to him, flow through him - and he runs down the beach, reaching out for Falco. He skids to a stop and stands in front of Falco, just... taking him in.]
... Welcome home.
[He reaches out and pulls the other boy into a tight hug, starting to cry. His chest heaves, but he's just so relieved. All those days and weeks of waiting... he'd been so scared without Falco. But he knew he'd come back. He knew it.]
I... I fixed up your room... I tried to make it comfortable for you... I just... I just wanted you to have a nice place to come home to...
[ oh, that was all quite fast. what was that feeling, coming for him? he has a bond. he has a bond with jun. he realizes that when he sees the other boy running, recognizes him. well, he’s going to have to beat falco at trying to get a hug in, because he rare acts as fast as his arms could. falco lunge’s for the other boy the same way his heart skips, and feels it melt when being reassured: welcome home.
he said home, and it was there that falco agreed— this had indeed become his home. feeling jun’s shuddering tearfulness in more ways than one, his arms clench tighter around the other’s neck and back, and pressing the side of his face to the crook of jun’s neck. ]
[He sniffles and nods, not letting go of the other. He can feel his heart pounding in his ears and he's just so happy - it feels like everything is going to be okay again. He nuzzles into the crook of the other boy's neck in return, just breathing for a few moments that feel like forever.]
Y... yeah. You might not remember, but when you were big we were talking about moving and... and you said it would be okay if you moved in with me and Manabu and Kazuma and Ryunosuke. Of... of course if you don't want to you don't have to but... yes, you have a room. It's right next to mine, so if anything is wrong in the night we can get to each other quickly.
[He'd thought of it, of course. He'd weighed where everyone should sleep and... well. It made sense for each couple (throuple in the older boys' case?) to take an end of the personal room areas.]
It still needs some fixing up - the whole house does - but there's a bed and some blankets and pillows in colors I thought you'd like.
[ what he knew and didn’t from his older counterpart was still a little scrambled and returning to him in fractures. oh, had he . . . told him about the curse? only in passing, he hadn’t the time— and there had been the home. falco’s arms slide away to a loose hold at the other’s sides when he pulls away to look at him. he wanted to say something about the room, the thought, the care and love—
but he says something else when he breathes out soft and waking. ]
I missed being here. [ despite the hardships, the horrors, it had been the people that made it bearable. the next makes his ears turn lime green at the tips. ] I missed you.
[He lets Falco pull away, even as much as he doesn't want to. He wants to keep the other close, watch him like a hawk... but he can't do anything if he's just hugging Falco all of the time. He lets out a soft breath, smiling at the other boy.]
I missed you, too. You... it's been... hard, without you.
[He had at least three major breakdowns and several minor ones.]
Is it okay... if I take you home? You should get dried off and maybe something to eat if you can stomach it. And rest... you need proper rest.
[Or is that his own exhaustion bleeding into the other? He can't quite tell at the moment. He wants to stay in this love, in this feeling... but he can't do that forever, much as he'd like to. He's eminently practical, and it seems that hasn't changed at all.]
Come on, both of you. It must be hard learning to be you again. You can lean on me and I can help you walk to the lantern.
[ perle doesn’t feel like talking, to extend that point. barely comes to image at all beyond a puffed up wisp of feathers and squinting eyes more than ready to rest even when they’ve only just started. it’s a different kind of fatigue that plagues one’s bones when they return from the ocean, return from death. this would be his third time. it’s not at all smooth, and seems worse than the last two.
he nods after a moment of thinking through the question. it should be simple, and yet!! it’s difficult to form the right words for, like he’s sluggish to answer. ]
I don’t think . . . I want anything else right now.
[ just to rest, remember how to swallow and taste and eat all over again. it sounded like something he should be doing, even when he’s a mixed pot of wanting to talk the day away and sleep all at once. he’s ready to go wherever it is he needs to, but his legs don’t follow. he’ll need jun, because alone it looks like he was too dizzy to keep a straight line. ]
[That's fair. As long as she's able to come along, either on her own or riding on one of them. He's quiet and patient with Falco, gently putting the other's arm around his shoulders. He can't pick Falco up (yet?) but he can definitely help support him.]
We'll get to the lantern and then we'll be able to get to the house. It's not far.
[He's considered putting his lantern down there, but he's worried about what would happen if someone who doesn't like one of them found out about that. It'd be too easy to find them...]
You can borrow some of my clothes until we can get your things from where you were staying. You won't have to worry about anything. I can... I can make you some easy food like soup when you feel like you can eat again.
[He's rambling, but he feels a need to fill the silence - and Falco's not able to talk much right now so he has to make up for it. His omen gives the newly de-squidded boy a gentle nudge on the leg. Come on! Home! Home has things like food and toys and other omens!]
[ to not leave jun in complete silence, falco nods, hums or does both when able in response. the dog omen gets a view of falco’s teeth at some point— an easy smile that’s hard to hold with such a cute face excited to see you. his feet misplace here and there, but if jun is helping him along, the fall doesn’t come. just a little hiccup in their walk.
soup sounds pretty good. how do you eat that again . . . ]
Then we can talk?
[ he thinks . . . he has a feeling they needed to talk about something. he knows what that something is.
jun was the last person with his older self. he could remember the edges with a bit of fog. ]
[He wants to know what killed Falco, but he recognizes that the other is having a rough time at the moment. He doesn't want to push him and he doesn't want to distress him while he's getting used to being alive again.]
You're... so important to me, Falco. Your health and happiness comes first.
[He can see the boardwalk lamp coming into view...]
Even over things I want to know... you come first.
[ appreciation could not come in words, here. falco is quiet, but their bond is not silent. he’s quite glad they’re almost there, and with the grabbing and tightening of each one of his fingers into jun’s shirt, his heartbeat ripples, and so does his soundness.
but it was still important. it was still something that needed to be said. he wasn’t worried about speaking of it anymore. ]
Once I, [ what’s the word? ] eat.
[ there’s a certain touch of please to it, even if such goes unsaid. ]
[ with all the strength in the world, he knocks their temples together. he could peck at it when he had more coordination, since he might’ve just tried it right now, and it was like a missed high-five, but the hand was still.
that’s all on him. he tried!!! ]
I want to see . . . My room.
[ he wants to see jun’s work and appreciated efforts in setting it up in the first place. a spot just for him— it was special already. ]
Right. We're just coming up to the lantern. Hold on to me and I'll take us to Crenshaw.
[He makes sure that Falco's holding on tightly before he uses the lamp to warp. He hates the feeling of being suddenly displaced, but he's gotten used to it by now. Once they land, he starts walking Falco towards one of the residential areas.]
[ his fingers stick and hang stronger than the first time he squeezed, and subsequently it should be getting better— as his walking, and his coordination. falco feels disoriented as is, so the jump hadn’t jostled him as much as a normal person on their feet would. he’s, instead, picking up where he’d already left off in terms of equilibrium. what he does a lot is stare, force his eyes to widen as he begins to see houses and streets. he’s trying to observe better, more detail than just simple blurs of color he couldn’t focus on.
there’s one more thing . . . ]
Why I are we— going so fast–?
[ like, fast forward fast he might fall over. the house is coming too fast ohhhh my lord— ]
[ at least it’s inoffensive. weird and disorienting, but nothing detrimental is really happening, is it?
so falco nods, follows along the best he could in silence, until they get “home”. oh, he smiles when he sees it. when he sees the place, the decorations, and best of all— when he sees his room. it was made for him. seeing it in slow motion may have brought him to tears, but they’re sweet ones. he rests in his bed and allows jun to fix up some soup, as promised.
he’ll be waiting for him, to talk serious. by the time jun returns, he’s looking a touch better, enough that perle is perched on top of the bed rest. ]
[He cleans Falco up and helps him into bed - they can worry about the sheets later. All he can feel is just a sense of relief that Falco's home, he's home at last. He's just so damn happy for once in his life, and he lets that feeling linger for longer than he'd normally do. He keeps his heart light, though he's a little pulled down when he realizes the questions he still has to ask.]
[But he finishes the soup anyway and brings it to Falco, setting it on his bedside table and sitting down next to the other.]
... Just take it slow. I'm here for you.
[He's not going to ask questions until Falco has some soup in him, but once he does...]
It... might be a hard thing to answer but... do you know what... killed you?
[ the soup slides down, warm and welcoming with every tentative sip becoming gulps, then spoons for thicker chunks (and maybe just some practice to familiarize himself with spoons again). when jun asks at last, nearly done with his bowl, it’s in his lap— and he’s looking at the remains. ]
It’s not . . .
[ hard, that is. he knows full well what it is. what had always been difficult was the reaction. it would always break his heart.
but maybe saying something now meant there was a way later. so slowly, quietly, he starts: ]
It’s called “The Curse of Ymir”. The first titan died thirteen years after her ability appeared. [ he keeps his head down, but his eyes eventually trail up. ] No one after her have ever lived more than that.
[He takes the soup bowl and puts it aside for the moment so Falco can focus on him. He knows this is hard, but...]
... So you just... die? You just keel over once you're -
[That's stupid. Insulting, even. It's not like he can talk, having keeled over after piloting a giant robot.]
[Is this what their parents felt? Just... helpless in the face of this force threatening to kill the people they loved? He wants to scream. He wants to throw things. He wants to shake Falco and tell him that can't be it, it just can't be.]
[His body trembles with barely contained anger and frustration. His voice is shaky when he speaks up. He tries to shield Falco from the worst of it over the bond, but... he's not very good at hiding his feelings.]
What do you know about it? ... And who else might know?
[ he has every right to feel angry, frustrated, hopeless really— falco has the patience to understand it. he’s been around it and grown with it enough that it’s just . . . a fact. a fact he knew what he was getting into, accident or not.
it’s how things are, how things were, and blanketed by falco’s patience is a sad acceptance. but— he still wants out. he wants to love more than anything, get old with a ring around his finger and someone who loved him. ]
I know what my home knows. We study it . . . Because we’re prepared to take it.
[ as for others who knew, falco only shakes his head with a shrug of his shoulder. ]
I’ve only told a few people. I’ve been— wanting to tell people. I want to find a way.
[He can't think of any other reason why Falco would. And Falco's... just that kind of person. If he knows what his world knows and knew the risks and still did it...]
I... I can't be mad. I knew... what was going to happen to me before I signed up, even if most of the others didn't. Our deaths weren't... drawn out.
But... there has to be a solution for you.
[It's too late for him, but maybe one day Falco can get back to his home world. And he'll need to fix this to not have it hanging over his head...]
[His heart sinks and he reaches out to hold the other's hand and ignoring the tears threatening to form.]
You deserve a long life. Not - you save people, Falco. You don't deserve to have your life cut short.
[Neither did he, but there's nothing he can do about his own situation. Falco's though... there might be a way.]
[ falco goes quiet at the question and that may just as well be his response: a small nod into the legs he’s propped his head and arms into after he’s finished his soup and placed it on the nightstand was an affirmation. yes, he had wanted to do it to save someone. it didn’t happen the way he’d expected, and it still didn’t save her. ]
If there’s a way . . . I want it to be here.
[ he almost says: I want to stay here, but it doesn’t come up yet. he doesn’t have the courage to say it out loud again, and . . . it makes him feel like a tremendous coward. he’s letting everyone down, even when there’s nothing else he could do back home. there was nothing left but loneliness, even if they did win.
there was no reason why they should keep fighting (but they still did). yet, his cheeks go green under his sleeves when he decides to speak again and says this: ]
I want . . . To stay here with you. For a really long time.
[He strokes Falco's back, trying to calm him. He can feel that the other's emotions are mixed and complicated, but he has to try.]
I want you to stay too. If... if you'd be happy. I want you to be happy, more than anything.
[He reaches over and puts his hand on Falco's cheek, gently tugging his head up so he can look the other in the eyes.]
We'll figure something out. I know we will. I can... ask... if you're okay with that. But just... I want you to be happy. You don't deserve to have something like this hanging over your head.
[He leans in and kisses Falco's forehead gently before pressing his own against his forehead.]
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icanhearscreams) wrote2022-07-03 02:21 pm
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deercountry]
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... Welcome home.
[He reaches out and pulls the other boy into a tight hug, starting to cry. His chest heaves, but he's just so relieved. All those days and weeks of waiting... he'd been so scared without Falco. But he knew he'd come back. He knew it.]
I... I fixed up your room... I tried to make it comfortable for you... I just... I just wanted you to have a nice place to come home to...
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he said home, and it was there that falco agreed— this had indeed become his home. feeling jun’s shuddering tearfulness in more ways than one, his arms clench tighter around the other’s neck and back, and pressing the side of his face to the crook of jun’s neck. ]
I have a room—?
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Y... yeah. You might not remember, but when you were big we were talking about moving and... and you said it would be okay if you moved in with me and Manabu and Kazuma and Ryunosuke. Of... of course if you don't want to you don't have to but... yes, you have a room. It's right next to mine, so if anything is wrong in the night we can get to each other quickly.
[He'd thought of it, of course. He'd weighed where everyone should sleep and... well. It made sense for each couple (throuple in the older boys' case?) to take an end of the personal room areas.]
It still needs some fixing up - the whole house does - but there's a bed and some blankets and pillows in colors I thought you'd like.
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but he says something else when he breathes out soft and waking. ]
I missed being here. [ despite the hardships, the horrors, it had been the people that made it bearable. the next makes his ears turn lime green at the tips. ] I missed you.
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I missed you, too. You... it's been... hard, without you.
[He had at least three major breakdowns and several minor ones.]
Is it okay... if I take you home? You should get dried off and maybe something to eat if you can stomach it. And rest... you need proper rest.
[Or is that his own exhaustion bleeding into the other? He can't quite tell at the moment. He wants to stay in this love, in this feeling... but he can't do that forever, much as he'd like to. He's eminently practical, and it seems that hasn't changed at all.]
Come on, both of you. It must be hard learning to be you again. You can lean on me and I can help you walk to the lantern.
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he nods after a moment of thinking through the question. it should be simple, and yet!! it’s difficult to form the right words for, like he’s sluggish to answer. ]
I don’t think . . . I want anything else right now.
[ just to rest, remember how to swallow and taste and eat all over again. it sounded like something he should be doing, even when he’s a mixed pot of wanting to talk the day away and sleep all at once. he’s ready to go wherever it is he needs to, but his legs don’t follow. he’ll need jun, because alone it looks like he was too dizzy to keep a straight line. ]
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We'll get to the lantern and then we'll be able to get to the house. It's not far.
[He's considered putting his lantern down there, but he's worried about what would happen if someone who doesn't like one of them found out about that. It'd be too easy to find them...]
You can borrow some of my clothes until we can get your things from where you were staying. You won't have to worry about anything. I can... I can make you some easy food like soup when you feel like you can eat again.
[He's rambling, but he feels a need to fill the silence - and Falco's not able to talk much right now so he has to make up for it. His omen gives the newly de-squidded boy a gentle nudge on the leg. Come on! Home! Home has things like food and toys and other omens!]
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soup sounds pretty good. how do you eat that again . . . ]
Then we can talk?
[ he thinks . . . he has a feeling they needed to talk about something. he knows what that something is.
jun was the last person with his older self. he could remember the edges with a bit of fog. ]
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[He wants to know what killed Falco, but he recognizes that the other is having a rough time at the moment. He doesn't want to push him and he doesn't want to distress him while he's getting used to being alive again.]
You're... so important to me, Falco. Your health and happiness comes first.
[He can see the boardwalk lamp coming into view...]
Even over things I want to know... you come first.
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but it was still important. it was still something that needed to be said. he wasn’t worried about speaking of it anymore. ]
Once I, [ what’s the word? ] eat.
[ there’s a certain touch of please to it, even if such goes unsaid. ]
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[He leaned into Falco slightly, just enough to give him a little more physical touch, before pulling them closer to the lamp.]
You can rest on the couch or in your room. The kitchen's nice and stocked, even if it needs work. I can get started on the soup when we get home.
[He needs some too, honestly. Sitting in the cold, while he's used to it now... it's still cold.]
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that’s all on him. he tried!!! ]
I want to see . . . My room.
[ he wants to see jun’s work and appreciated efforts in setting it up in the first place. a spot just for him— it was special already. ]
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Right. We're just coming up to the lantern. Hold on to me and I'll take us to Crenshaw.
[He makes sure that Falco's holding on tightly before he uses the lamp to warp. He hates the feeling of being suddenly displaced, but he's gotten used to it by now. Once they land, he starts walking Falco towards one of the residential areas.]
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there’s one more thing . . . ]
Why I are we— going so fast–?
[ like, fast forward fast he might fall over. the house is coming too fast ohhhh my lord— ]
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We're not. What's going on? Talk to me, Falco.
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he looks like he’s having a time. ]
Do I . . . Sound the same way to you? Really— fast? Squeaky—?
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No. You don't. I think you're having some sort of weird effect. Come on, it's not too much further.
[He tightens his grip on the other boy and keeps walking.]
You're going to be okay.
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so falco nods, follows along the best he could in silence, until they get “home”. oh, he smiles when he sees it. when he sees the place, the decorations, and best of all— when he sees his room. it was made for him. seeing it in slow motion may have brought him to tears, but they’re sweet ones. he rests in his bed and allows jun to fix up some soup, as promised.
he’ll be waiting for him, to talk serious. by the time jun returns, he’s looking a touch better, enough that perle is perched on top of the bed rest. ]
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[But he finishes the soup anyway and brings it to Falco, setting it on his bedside table and sitting down next to the other.]
... Just take it slow. I'm here for you.
[He's not going to ask questions until Falco has some soup in him, but once he does...]
It... might be a hard thing to answer but... do you know what... killed you?
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It’s not . . .
[ hard, that is. he knows full well what it is. what had always been difficult was the reaction. it would always break his heart.
but maybe saying something now meant there was a way later. so slowly, quietly, he starts: ]
It’s called “The Curse of Ymir”. The first titan died thirteen years after her ability appeared. [ he keeps his head down, but his eyes eventually trail up. ] No one after her have ever lived more than that.
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... So you just... die? You just keel over once you're -
[That's stupid. Insulting, even. It's not like he can talk, having keeled over after piloting a giant robot.]
[Is this what their parents felt? Just... helpless in the face of this force threatening to kill the people they loved? He wants to scream. He wants to throw things. He wants to shake Falco and tell him that can't be it, it just can't be.]
[His body trembles with barely contained anger and frustration. His voice is shaky when he speaks up. He tries to shield Falco from the worst of it over the bond, but... he's not very good at hiding his feelings.]
What do you know about it? ... And who else might know?
no subject
it’s how things are, how things were, and blanketed by falco’s patience is a sad acceptance. but— he still wants out. he wants to love more than anything, get old with a ring around his finger and someone who loved him. ]
I know what my home knows. We study it . . . Because we’re prepared to take it.
[ as for others who knew, falco only shakes his head with a shrug of his shoulder. ]
I’ve only told a few people. I’ve been— wanting to tell people. I want to find a way.
cw: child death
[He can't think of any other reason why Falco would. And Falco's... just that kind of person. If he knows what his world knows and knew the risks and still did it...]
I... I can't be mad. I knew... what was going to happen to me before I signed up, even if most of the others didn't. Our deaths weren't... drawn out.
But... there has to be a solution for you.
[It's too late for him, but maybe one day Falco can get back to his home world. And he'll need to fix this to not have it hanging over his head...]
[His heart sinks and he reaches out to hold the other's hand and ignoring the tears threatening to form.]
You deserve a long life. Not - you save people, Falco. You don't deserve to have your life cut short.
[Neither did he, but there's nothing he can do about his own situation. Falco's though... there might be a way.]
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If there’s a way . . . I want it to be here.
[ he almost says: I want to stay here, but it doesn’t come up yet. he doesn’t have the courage to say it out loud again, and . . . it makes him feel like a tremendous coward. he’s letting everyone down, even when there’s nothing else he could do back home. there was nothing left but loneliness, even if they did win.
there was no reason why they should keep fighting (but they still did). yet, his cheeks go green under his sleeves when he decides to speak again and says this: ]
I want . . . To stay here with you. For a really long time.
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[He strokes Falco's back, trying to calm him. He can feel that the other's emotions are mixed and complicated, but he has to try.]
I want you to stay too. If... if you'd be happy. I want you to be happy, more than anything.
[He reaches over and puts his hand on Falco's cheek, gently tugging his head up so he can look the other in the eyes.]
We'll figure something out. I know we will. I can... ask... if you're okay with that. But just... I want you to be happy. You don't deserve to have something like this hanging over your head.
[He leans in and kisses Falco's forehead gently before pressing his own against his forehead.]
We'll find a way. Together.
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