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[icanhearscreams]

"... Leave a message."

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Re: Misfire | Text | un: LEM2

[icanhearscreams]

Thanks, but it's not my respiratory system that I'm worried about right now?

[Also what the fuck?]

text

[slightlytaller]

-- Ah. I see the Omni is acting up. I was just adding a note.

It's an herbal decoction I like to make yearly to keep on hand. A spoonful a day helps a lot in the winter.

...I tend to be susceptible to colds. It comes from not having many breaks in my line of work.

[icanhearscreams]

Maybe you should take a break and not listen to people who say that you shouldn't.

[slightlytaller]

Would that I could.

Unfortunately, being a Lord means that I have Responsibilities.

[icanhearscreams]

Tell them to take a hike while you recover. You can't perform your best if you don't take care of yourself.

[slightlytaller]

In a normal situation, I would.

This is not a normal situation, and I don't have that opportunity in London.

Here, I do. But, it's looking like it's a harsh winter and I'd like to be prepared.

[icanhearscreams]

What kind of responsibilities do you have, then?

And yes. It's... going to be a pain, probably.

[slightlytaller]

I willingly took on a debt to a family that was nearly destroyed in part due to my own impulsive decisions a decade ago. The entirety of their archives was ransacked and torn asunder, the foundations of their ancestral magic shattered so deeply that it'll take three lifetimes to restore, and they have enough financial debt to fund a Hollywood blockbuster.

...My actions in no small way resulted in the death of their patriarch-- who, even though we were at odds, still taught me everything I know of magecraft.

Since his heir was five and facing assassination attempts before she was even able to attend school, it only seemed right that I step in as her regent, so to speak.

This means that I have to do anything that's asked of me by the family's debtors, including the family if my mentor's fiancee-- who was also slaughtered as a result of my own stupidity.

[icanhearscreams]

[That's... a lot.]

Yeah but have they considered you can't do anything if you're burnt out?

Surely not even magic or whatever can keep you awake and alert forever.

[slightlytaller]

Does a carpenter care about their hammer's feelings before they strike?

It's not a dissimilar matter. I'm a tool for a bigger scheme, and it's not so simple to step away.

You probably know the feeling yourself. If it's not me, it'll be someone else.

[icanhearscreams]

Yes, I know that feeling.

It still doesn't excuse them from treating you like shit. If they keep treating you like that you're going to break, plain and simple.

I've seen enough people break. You... shouldn't have to.

[slightlytaller]

...I have, too.

For the record, I thank you for your concern. As long as we're here, it's not a problem. Unfortunately, there's no guarantee either of us will remember this conversation if we return to our respective homes.

My only hope is that the Me that is still in the classroom is able to make it until the time when the true heir to this Lordship is able to take its burden. Not that it will free me from every responsibility, but it will be a significant weight off of my shoulders.

[icanhearscreams]

Well, I'll remember it. I can't exactly leave, being dead and all.

... I don't know much about parallel worlds other than what I've seen, and what I've seen is that two versions of the same person is possible, though unlikely... but if there really is a You back there then he's got to have a little more self-worth, too. You're a person, not a tool.

I've seen enough people break to not want it to happen to someone who seems half-decent.

[slightlytaller]

[The boy was astute. Waver couldn't deny this. He had known it from their very first conversation, but this discourse that was brought on by accident only solidified that impression.

He wanted to protest-- to explain that adults were just as ensnared by the world they lived in as the kids were, if not moreso. Kids usually still had the hope and the drive to change things, and make a difference.

Many adults had the hope beaten out of them.

Not for the first time, Waver felt the chains of fate wrapping around his wrists and throat. It wasn't something he could just escape. His only 'out' was to bide his time.... or to die.]

You really are an incredibly wise young person. Even if you don't have a future in your home, you certainly have one here. Please, don't lose sight of that spark you have.

[...Why yes, he was changing the subject. However, he was also being wholly sincere.]

[icanhearscreams]

I'm trying. I'm learning better ways of going about things than starting fights.

But I will absolutely smack you upside the head if you don't get it out of the depression hole you've dug for yourself.

[slightlytaller]

[Honestly, Waver was amazed that Jun cared so much. They were relative strangers overall, even if they had told each other tough parts of their personal histories.

... The comment earned a smile. Young people really could be pretty amazing. ]

I didn't realize it was that obvious. I'll need to do better.

[icanhearscreams]

Do better about finding reasons to not be depressed. Not 'do better at hiding it' because there's plenty of people here who will get into your life and care about you.

Trust me, I've tried it. It doesn't really work. And it doesn't really help much, either.

[slightlytaller]

[There were a million ways that this was so backwards and so contrary to what he expected that for the moment Waver was at a loss for words. He wanted to say something about having worked at this for longer than the boy had been alive-- but, somehow, that felt like a bad idea.

Instead: ]

I was ordered to live by someone far greater than any of the gods or Pthumerians of this world, and I have no plans on disappointing him.

You don't need to worry. I plan to stay here for a while.

[icanhearscreams]

Good. There's people who need a good teacher. ... Just try to be easier on yourself. No matter what your past is, it doesn't really matter here. So you have room to breathe.

[slightlytaller]

You do, too. Please don't forget that while you're shoving myself and other wayward adults back in line.


And. Thank you.

[icanhearscreams]

I've got reminders for that. Plenty of people who try to make sure I don't burn myself out. Hopefully you have some, too.

... You're welcome.

[slightlytaller]

I do have some people here. No one can be entirely isolated, no matter how hard they try.

[Somehow, it seemed as if that circle had one more person added to it with just this simple conversation. Waver was impressed.]

Perhaps, if you'd like, we can help each other on that. Along with any tutoring you'd need.

[icanhearscreams]

It really is. I've tried, but... well it didn't work.

Yes. I could use a tutor for some things. As long as I'm stuck in bed, I'm stuck just using notes to catch up with.

[slightlytaller]

If I may ask: what happened to put you in bed?

[Knowing that someone welcomed his assistance took some of the uneasy edge off of his heart. He would set up a time to discuss details soon enough. The boy's health came first.]

[icanhearscreams]

The zealots. They caught me and took something from me. I'm lucky I made it out alive.

... Not lucky, I guess. There's no such thing as luck. But people got to me just in time.