Yes, shortly after I arrived, actually. He was my first friend here in Trench. I don't remember how long it took him to come back but... he did eventually return.
[He shakes his head. That statement sounds like something he would have said a few years ago.]
It's not stupid. To feel that way, you know. But I can't see why he would not want to see you if you are friends.
We're bonded. We know how we feel about the other. And I know he doesn't hate me, I just... it feels like I've lost half of my senses now that he's gone.
And it... it hurts. I thought... I thought maybe I really hadn't been sent somewhere terrible when I met him. Because how could someone like me meet someone like him if this was some kind of after-death punishment?
[Not that he believes in such things, but... still...]
It'll take time to recover from something like that. [Literally. That bond was no laughing matter. Considering he had not done it himself...he's at least read enough about it to know.] I remember feeling the same way when I lost my friend, though I'm not sure it's quite the same.
[It was like he lost a piece of himself, with no time to grieve. As soon as he made shore he was thrust into work, constantly reminded that he should be there.]
I'm sorry. I don't think there are words to help in this situation. We just need to find a way to move forward. [Easier said than done.] I hope he returns soon, though.
[If at all. He knows he can't promise that Falco would return, but they can at least try and be optimistic, right?]
Probably the same reason I stuffed myself into a suitcase to travel from Japan to England without a thought of how it would actually work. [He smiles gently, reaching out to place his hand on his shoulder.] Because you care for him.
What stupid thing are you thinking of doing? [Hopefully it wasn't too dangerous.]
[A long story and a pretty ridiculous reason for contorting himself into a suitcase, but he's willing to tell it if asked.]
I'm sure it's not that stupid. [He smiles a bit though.] If you don't want to share that's all right too. I can just keep you from doing whatever it is.
[There's a pause, some confusion as he looks over Jun.] You were thinking of...
[Oh. Oh. Ryunosuke's confusion turns into worry as he tries to piece together why Jun would want to do something of that magnitude. He doesn't think he could do something like that if Manabu or Kazuma were to die but... maybe he could relate a bit.]
Sometimes... it's hard to live when you lose someone you're close to. [He says carefully, remembering how hard he took Kazuma's death.] It's not stupid to have those thoughts... to wonder. I think I contemplated throwing myself to the sea once or twice. It's easy to say "be positive", but I think that's what we need to do right now.
Following him won't make you feel better if you come back and he still hasn't returned. [Was that too harsh? He hopes not.]
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2023-02-12 06:47 pm (UTC)[He shakes his head. That statement sounds like something he would have said a few years ago.]
It's not stupid. To feel that way, you know. But I can't see why he would not want to see you if you are friends.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-13 12:12 am (UTC)And it... it hurts. I thought... I thought maybe I really hadn't been sent somewhere terrible when I met him. Because how could someone like me meet someone like him if this was some kind of after-death punishment?
[Not that he believes in such things, but... still...]
no subject
Date: 2023-02-15 09:59 pm (UTC)[It was like he lost a piece of himself, with no time to grieve. As soon as he made shore he was thrust into work, constantly reminded that he should be there.]
I'm sorry. I don't think there are words to help in this situation. We just need to find a way to move forward. [Easier said than done.] I hope he returns soon, though.
[If at all. He knows he can't promise that Falco would return, but they can at least try and be optimistic, right?]
no subject
Date: 2023-02-16 12:52 am (UTC)Hell, part of the reason I've been training was to protect him. ... So he didn't always feel like he had to protect me.
[He hunched his shoulders and stared out at the snow.]
I don't want to make him sad by doing something stupid. But I keep thinking of doing stupid things and I don't know why.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-16 01:09 am (UTC)What stupid thing are you thinking of doing? [Hopefully it wasn't too dangerous.]
no subject
Date: 2023-02-17 08:17 pm (UTC)[He goes silent at the question and stares at the floor.]
I... really shouldn't say.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 08:28 pm (UTC)[A long story and a pretty ridiculous reason for contorting himself into a suitcase, but he's willing to tell it if asked.]
I'm sure it's not that stupid. [He smiles a bit though.] If you don't want to share that's all right too. I can just keep you from doing whatever it is.
cw: suicidal ideation
Date: 2023-02-18 11:36 pm (UTC)[He bits his lip and shakes his head. He shouldn't depress someone else.]
I just... keep thinking about going after him. I know he wouldn't want me to, but...
no subject
Date: 2023-02-18 11:44 pm (UTC)[There's a pause, some confusion as he looks over Jun.] You were thinking of...
[Oh. Oh. Ryunosuke's confusion turns into worry as he tries to piece together why Jun would want to do something of that magnitude. He doesn't think he could do something like that if Manabu or Kazuma were to die but... maybe he could relate a bit.]
Sometimes... it's hard to live when you lose someone you're close to. [He says carefully, remembering how hard he took Kazuma's death.] It's not stupid to have those thoughts... to wonder. I think I contemplated throwing myself to the sea once or twice. It's easy to say "be positive", but I think that's what we need to do right now.
Following him won't make you feel better if you come back and he still hasn't returned. [Was that too harsh? He hopes not.]
no subject
Date: 2023-02-19 01:38 am (UTC)I just ant him back. I keep walking along the shore hoping to find him but... nothing.
[He knows it's not time for new arrivals yet, but Falco's not new. He should be back by now.]
It just hurts.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-20 11:03 pm (UTC)[He can't count the times he's looked at Kazuma and find himself thinking that he's a ghost.]
But we work through it. It's not easy, and I'm not saying it'll happen overnight, but you have friends who are happy to help and listen.
I'm sure we'll have answers soon. [He hopes, for Jun's sake, that Falco does come back, but he will be here for him should he not return.]
no subject
Date: 2023-02-21 01:53 am (UTC)But that would mean not feeling anything.
And that's... that would be bad...