-IC Contact- [deercountry]

[icanhearscreams]

"... Leave a message."

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[icanhearscreams]

That was a particularly bad one. We were on the enemy's home turf.

I made a mistake - let the pilot escape. Stupid of both of us - me for letting him escape. Him for trying to run away since he'd lose, too. Guess he was hoping to take his enemy with him.

I didn't know where he went, but Zearth can sense life signs. Problem is that I didn't know which was his. So I had to kill everyone individually. It took about... thirty six hours? Less than the forty needed to kill everyone. But not short.

The father of one of the other pilots - he was taking video of it. To show people back in our world, to prove to them that we were doing our best for them.

But yeah, that's how I died. I used up my 'life energy' (whatever the hell that means) to make the robot move.

[faceblocks]

thirty six hours


[less than the requisite forty! she wants to joke, but everything that comes to mind is awful. mean. bitter and angry. and the people who she's angry at wouldn't hear - she'll never meet them most likely. and it wouldn't help jun at all. shit like this. games like this. this is how you break people's minds. this is how you break people for good.]

you did do your best
but what they asked of you was fucking impossible

the only mistake made here
not one you made at all

fuck those people right in the eye
im so sorry

and i know that doesnt mean shit
and it doesnt do anythin g

[icanhearscreams]

No, it doesn't.

I knew what would happen when I piloted. The others didn't. I still signed up anyway. Maybe that's stupid, but... after what my sister did I couldn't just let us go undefended.

She was only ten for fuck's sake

[He has to stop for a few moments to wipe away his tears. He shouldn't be crying - it makes him feel weak and out of control. But He can't help it. He's just so sad and frustrated...]

im just so tired of the nightmares vi

i still wake up screaming sometimes

sometims i can still hear the screams of the people i killed

i know that makes me crazy but fuck it

[faceblocks]

[ten. she thinks of powder at ten.]

you think you know everything when youre young
i thought i did
no matter what you thought you knew
you couldnt have really known

i wanted to go to war at fourteen
at fifteen
i thought i knew what that meant
what that was

you were trying to be brave
trying to figure out how to do the right thing
and a bunch of fuckers
how the fuck



[and BAM SHE IS NOW ON VOICE because that's a hot button]

Nope. That doesn't make you crazy. Hearing voices like that? It probably means you're sane even if you feel crazy. Even if that does make you crazy? Well, fuck that, too. What does that even mean? You feel what you feel, and I...

[i have nightmares too she wants to say, but this isn't about her. she'll save it for another time. but:]

...where are you right now?

[icanhearscreams]

[He's about to respond to the text when it switches to voice. There's a long silence for a few moments before he sighs, his voice rough and cracking.]

I'm... at home. I... I guess it's home now. It's Manabu's house, along with some others. He took me in after I couldn't sleep from the nightmares.

I'm just... tired. Some nights I can sleep but... other nights any little sound will wake me up.

[faceblocks]

I know Manabu. He's ...good people.

Are you alone right now?

[icanhearscreams]

He is. He's been giving me a job and a house and... I can't help but feel like I don't deserve it.

... Yeah, I am. Why?

[faceblocks]

You can feel like that, but that doesn't make it true. Our own heads can really be assholes sometimes, especially about ...us.

I've got an idea. Bear with me, and I'll be there in a bit if you're okay with that. It's the Roost, yeah? You're living in it? Above it?

[she lived basically in a bar, once, in another life.]

[icanhearscreams]

Crenshaw. I can draw you a map - drew one for Falco a few days ago.

[He's not gonna comment on the asshole brains thing. He knows, it's just... hard.]

[faceblocks]

[she remembers the mention of jun in falco's post now - now that she's more focused, and that a clear line of mention's been made. there had been something about an apology, yeah. what an unexpected ride that whole series of conversations had been. she should check to see if all the borrowed things have been returned. but that can wait - she's not going to pry into their business now - and last she heard, falco was not in any danger of losing a hand or two.]

Okay.

[she'll set off as soon as it comes, in her hunter gear rather than casual clothes - bag and kit at the ready even though it's crenshaw, and supposedly safe as houses. heh. can't be too careful now that more weird shit has started.]

[icanhearscreams]

[He realizes she's coming over and so he heads downstairs. It's... a modest house, given that there's a lot of people living in it. There's not too much of an issue, though there's weirdly a tent in the living room?]

[Whatever.]

[He sits on the couch and waits for her - after making some tea. He has no idea if she drinks tea, but it seems like the thing to do.]

[faceblocks]

[she will drink anything. except possibly a flaming shot. she's quick about it, and finds the residence without issue - a good credit goes to the map she was given. she'll knock, because that's what you're supposed to do.]

[icanhearscreams]

[He's a little surprised she didn't come in via a window or something, but he opens the door and lets her in, closing it behind her.]

... Everything okay?

[She didn't really explain why she wanted to come over, after all.]

[faceblocks]

[...she thought about it.]

I think so? I wanna try something if you're cool with it. It's only a little weird, and we don't have to hug or anything.

It's not more crunches, either.

Do you have a place you like to sit? I need to sit near you, I think.

[headtilt. is that a ...tent?]

[icanhearscreams]

Uh.

[He motions to the couch and brings the tea over to the little table in front of it.]

Good. You know I'm not the hugging type.

[He'll just... settle into the couch, then.]

[faceblocks]

[she knows. she pretends she isn't either - and maybe it's that she used to be and that had been beaten out of her - lost to suspicious and trauma and a whole host of things. she pretends not to care about a lot of things, and sometimes she forgets she's pretending.

gonna help herself to that tea, though, before she sits down next to him, but not too close.]

How often you get nightmares?

[icanhearscreams]

[He thinks about it and sighs. It's not every night, but...]

At least a few times a week. It's... really annoying. Why?

[He's not really the type to admit that but... Vi is safe.]

[faceblocks]

I get 'em too. I can't do shit about mine right now but ...I might be able to help a little with yours.

[she sighs a little, looks down, lets a bit more of her guard drop. she doesn't have to have all her shit together here, not for this.]

I'm not sure how long it'll take or if it'll even work, but I wanna test it before I go giving you a bunch of false hope. Think of something vaguely shitty. Not nightmare level bad. Just something that sets your teeth on edge.

And then tell me if it's less ...annoying after a couple minutes.

[icanhearscreams]

[He looks up at her in confusion, but... well. He might as well try. He nods and thinks of his friends trying to show him porn, He rolls his eyes and grits his teeth, trying to hold onto the feeling of anger.]

[It does... start to fade after a little bit. He tilts his head, puzzled by it, and then nods again.]

I think... it's working. A little.

[faceblocks]

Okay, cool. Think of something a little worse, and if that works we'll stop there, cause I'll have my answer.

[she thinks she's already got it, but she just wants to make sure.]

[icanhearscreams]

[A little worse? What's between annoying friends and nightmare? He thinks on it for a little and then settles on thinking about Tanaka. How she abandoned him with someone who wasn't prepared for a child.]

[He clutches the armrest of the couch, trying to not grit his teeth. He's... doing his best to keep his cool.]

[But it does seem to fade, at least a little, and finally he feels like he can breathe. He tilts his head as he looks over at Vi.]

What are you doing?

[faceblocks]

It's not so much me as it's my blood. I felt it too ...from another Vileblood. That's how I was able to guess. You know how people's blood gets weird sometimes, and not just in the way we're used to? I think it's that. It's gotta be.

[she's quiet a moment, using the pause to down the rest of the tea.]

Even my sister is a little more even keeled, a little calmer ...so yeah. That's what it is.

[icanhearscreams]

Oh.

[That's... strange. He doesn't want to admit that their blood can do weird things - more weird things. He still hasn't gotten control of his own abilities, whatever they might be. He sighs and sinks into the cushions a little more.]

So what, you're going to tuck me into bed?

[faceblocks]

[that. gets a laugh. would she do it? sure. but that wasn't her like of thinking.]

I'm gonna have this blood, what I've got right now made into some stones to put in something for you to keep. A jar maybe.

[the plankton from the ship and the deep ocean roads still retained its glow, so why not this? she can only try.]

But. If you ever need me to sit watch, I can do that, too. [she nods to the tent] But you've got people. If you've got Manabu on your side that's a good thing. I can sit here and read a book if you wanna try a nap, your call.

[icanhearscreams]

Just don't... bleed yourself dry on my account.

[He reaches over and gives her an awkward shoulder pat, trying to be comforting. He's not... good at that.]

No, I'm... I'm good. Usually my omen's pretty good at sitting on me - like one of those weighted blanket kind of things? It's weird but it does help a little bit.

[Speaking of the omen in question, the large golden retriever wanders up to Vi and sits on her foot.]

Oh come on, don't be rude.

[The dog huffs and puts his head in Vi's lap. Cuddles, please.]