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Jul. 3rd, 2022 02:21 pm
icanhearscreams: (Default)
[personal profile] icanhearscreams
"... Leave a message."

Date: 2022-09-09 03:29 pm (UTC)
faceblocks: (about to parkour)
From: [personal profile] faceblocks
[she remembers the mention of jun in falco's post now - now that she's more focused, and that a clear line of mention's been made. there had been something about an apology, yeah. what an unexpected ride that whole series of conversations had been. she should check to see if all the borrowed things have been returned. but that can wait - she's not going to pry into their business now - and last she heard, falco was not in any danger of losing a hand or two.]

Okay.

[she'll set off as soon as it comes, in her hunter gear rather than casual clothes - bag and kit at the ready even though it's crenshaw, and supposedly safe as houses. heh. can't be too careful now that more weird shit has started.]

Date: 2022-09-10 04:33 am (UTC)
faceblocks: (thinking)
From: [personal profile] faceblocks
[she will drink anything. except possibly a flaming shot. she's quick about it, and finds the residence without issue - a good credit goes to the map she was given. she'll knock, because that's what you're supposed to do.]

Date: 2022-09-12 12:36 am (UTC)
faceblocks: (awkward hello)
From: [personal profile] faceblocks
[...she thought about it.]

I think so? I wanna try something if you're cool with it. It's only a little weird, and we don't have to hug or anything.

It's not more crunches, either.

Do you have a place you like to sit? I need to sit near you, I think.

[headtilt. is that a ...tent?]

Date: 2022-09-12 05:30 pm (UTC)
faceblocks: (cautious talk)
From: [personal profile] faceblocks
[she knows. she pretends she isn't either - and maybe it's that she used to be and that had been beaten out of her - lost to suspicious and trauma and a whole host of things. she pretends not to care about a lot of things, and sometimes she forgets she's pretending.

gonna help herself to that tea, though, before she sits down next to him, but not too close.]


How often you get nightmares?

Date: 2022-09-12 11:52 pm (UTC)
faceblocks: (explain)
From: [personal profile] faceblocks
I get 'em too. I can't do shit about mine right now but ...I might be able to help a little with yours.

[she sighs a little, looks down, lets a bit more of her guard drop. she doesn't have to have all her shit together here, not for this.]

I'm not sure how long it'll take or if it'll even work, but I wanna test it before I go giving you a bunch of false hope. Think of something vaguely shitty. Not nightmare level bad. Just something that sets your teeth on edge.

And then tell me if it's less ...annoying after a couple minutes.

Date: 2022-09-13 01:15 am (UTC)
faceblocks: (explain 2)
From: [personal profile] faceblocks
Okay, cool. Think of something a little worse, and if that works we'll stop there, cause I'll have my answer.

[she thinks she's already got it, but she just wants to make sure.]

Date: 2022-09-13 03:02 am (UTC)
faceblocks: (thinking)
From: [personal profile] faceblocks
It's not so much me as it's my blood. I felt it too ...from another Vileblood. That's how I was able to guess. You know how people's blood gets weird sometimes, and not just in the way we're used to? I think it's that. It's gotta be.

[she's quiet a moment, using the pause to down the rest of the tea.]

Even my sister is a little more even keeled, a little calmer ...so yeah. That's what it is.

Date: 2022-09-14 12:59 am (UTC)
faceblocks: (R1TT2CSFWJ8Jz9Wc9LfKJ)
From: [personal profile] faceblocks
[that. gets a laugh. would she do it? sure. but that wasn't her like of thinking.]

I'm gonna have this blood, what I've got right now made into some stones to put in something for you to keep. A jar maybe.

[the plankton from the ship and the deep ocean roads still retained its glow, so why not this? she can only try.]

But. If you ever need me to sit watch, I can do that, too. [she nods to the tent] But you've got people. If you've got Manabu on your side that's a good thing. I can sit here and read a book if you wanna try a nap, your call.

Date: 2022-09-15 03:45 pm (UTC)
faceblocks: (NFdjIMhK1sA5QEP49fTTL)
From: [personal profile] faceblocks
No chance. I gotta save some for the Outpost.

[she's surprised at how much blood she can lose here, honestly. and you know what, jun? a lot of her own comforting was a little awkward at his age - she'd received her share of it in return, too.they were a bunch of kids trying to project an aura of 'i've seen it all' and comfort wasn't exactly in the "too big for my badass britches" manual.( mylo was never very good at it either, but sometimes (when no one was around) he tried.) but she offers jun a tired, sincere smile that says he's doing just fine.

and suddenly doggo.]


Hey there.

[foot sitting is a ok. it's encouraged. cuddles? hell yeah, that's even better. who could resist this? she sets the teacup down, so she can use both hands for this. all the pets. it's easier to say this with a dog there, a gentle redirect so that she can stay calm. unfortunately, any calm she's leaking into the air doesn't affect her. which ...sucks.]

Look, I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I get ...I don't sleep well. I know people that hear voices. I've heard them before, too, just not the same kind. Crazy is ...I don't even know what that means when it comes to stuff like this. Not even sure if it means anything.

I just want to help if I can, cause then that's one less person having to deal with so much bullshit.

[i only meant to help - great timing for an intrusive thought, but there it is - powder's voice, and her own failure to handle ...everything. how much "better" would she have handled herself in jun's situation? she might have found a way to fuck that up too, make it worse.]

Date: 2022-09-16 05:37 pm (UTC)
faceblocks: (more talking)
From: [personal profile] faceblocks
I'm good. I've got people too, even if I didn't want 'em to start with.

[a soft, rueful smile. she'd let alayne in almost by accident, and then it just snowballed. it had been easy, even. sometimes she wonders how much of that is the design of trench, the idea of second chances. most of the time, she doesn't care. it doesn't matter why it happened - now it just is.]

I wouldn't say that's true. You think Manabu would give you a place to stay if you didn't matter? He's a good dude, but come on, that's---

---you matter to him, and you matter to me. Think I'd be here if you weren't a priority? I could've been like "sucks" and went on with my day.

[would she have done that to someone else? maybe not that rudely, no, and maybe not at all, but there wouldn't have been such a sense of urgency.

petting the dog helps. saying this stuff out loud helps, too.]


Looks like we're in two clubs together, kid. Cause I'm not special either.

[do they merge the badges? get two badges? 'people who hate themselves and are not special' meeting is in session.]

Date: 2022-09-17 10:05 pm (UTC)
faceblocks: (saddish)
From: [personal profile] faceblocks
Maybe it's a little of both. He's a little too good, you're worth caring about. It can be both of them.

[there it is - that urge to fight back tears - she's done it so many times, especially at his age. there's a huge urge to do something when she's on the other side of it - but she's respecting his boundaries, and even though he's not the kind of kid to ask for a hug ...maybe ever, he'll have to make it more clear to her if she can cross that line. until then she will respectfully lower her eyes a little - but there's no shame in crying - she's long past thinking that ...at least when it comes to other people. especially over things like this.]

You think I'm strong and brave. I can ...remember lots of times I wasn't.

There are all kinds of ways to be strong, Jun. I think we're just different kinds of strong. Some people would go through that ....what you had to do and they'd ...I dunno, maybe they'd never be able to really be a person again? They'd just give up on trying and stay in the ocean and never come here.

Or maybe they wouldn't have gotten as far as you did. Been able to give their---

[is that a tear making its way out her her? sure. does she try to wipe it away? nah.]

---life like you did. I think you're brave.

[she'd like for him to get better, but there are a lot of murky, muddled feelings lately as to what constitutes 'better'. mostly, she'd like him to cut himself more slack. pot. kettle. all that.]

Maybe better is just ...maybe we just change a little every day. As things happen. If you had to compare how you felt after Manabu offered you a place, after he told you he gave a shit, would you say that's better than how you felt before?

[it's something.]

Date: 2022-09-19 10:37 pm (UTC)
faceblocks: (genuine sad)
From: [personal profile] faceblocks
[vi often thinks about where she might have ended up if alayne (rip akayne stone you were a real one) hadn't returned, or if they'd never met at all. the imagined result changes depending on the day, but it's always some level of self imposed isolation. several more layers of 'i'm fine'. sometimes it's prufrock, sometimes it's the docks in dracmouth.

that's a lot for someone to give, even if they're too good. she watches him wrestle with this, lets her eyes drift to her own lap, to the omen, and when his hand touches the couch she doesn't move to cover it with her own the way she might with some people, but she does lean in to very tenderly stroke the dog's nose. the omens are a part of them, right?

mostly, she just listens. he'd been right about the 'you're young, too' - she might have interjected if not for that. his pain is palpable without any trench-given abilities, without magic or super senses or what have you - it's writ all over him in words, in the way his face moves and doesn't. she's again reminded of jinx's first arrival - how she'd struggled to keep her form due to things vi can only guess at, can only summarize into 'overwhelm' of many kinds.]


That? The decision to keep going? That's one way of being strong.

[she doesn't want to make this about her - it isn't. so she only offers the core of it without details.]

I've felt that way, too.

[she didn't do anything about it - no hardline attempt - but she'd thrown herself into countless dicey fights in prison - with both guards and inmates - was it in anyone's best interest to even keep her alive? not likely. what had that said about her care (or lack of) about her own life.]

I'm sorry about Kana.

[she just leaves the opening - because it might be too painful to ask anything else, and he doesn't need to be pushed. she doesn't want to do that, but she doesn't want to shut him down either. she's made that mistake before.]

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Jun Ushiro

July 2022

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