-IC Contact- [deercountry]

[icanhearscreams]

"... Leave a message."

Comments

text un: vi

[faceblocks]

remember how you got one of mine?
i think i got one of yours

dick punching time
fuck
im sorry

[text] username: secondtolast

[icanhearscreams]

[Ah, fuck. He knows his own memories are pretty traumatizing...]

What did you see?

It's not your fault.

Re: [text] username: secondtolast

[faceblocks]

i know

but my dumb ass took a book

you sure you wanna hear this?

because it doesnt look like your fault either

[icanhearscreams]

Yes.

It might... need some context.

[faceblocks]

i was in a building and i heard reports of what was happening
to everywhere

the game i think
the battle

i saw the huge ??ship??
body??

and i watched it destroy
everything
and then me

and that part wasnt
okay it was fucking terrible and terrifying
but thats not even why im pissed

im pissed because after i died (??idk)
i was in this room with weird chairs and im pretty sure you were too

those fucks standing around
are those the "people" that decided to make this game
to make you play
to make you

have to do this

[icanhearscreams]

News reports could be any number of battles...

But if you watched it intentionally destroy everything that narrows it down to a few.

And if there were other people there it's even fewer - probably my battle.

They weren't. They were one of the fathers of the other pilots. And some military people. The army started trying to protect us when it realized what was going on. When they realized that they couldn't really interfere.

But they did realize we could be killed and put everyone in danger by not having a pilot.

[faceblocks]

you were crying

i mean no fucking shit who wouldnt

they got you out? you didn't have to
no

i remember you telling me no one playing wins
so no one won except

the planet

you told me you all died
was that how

[icanhearscreams]

That was a particularly bad one. We were on the enemy's home turf.

I made a mistake - let the pilot escape. Stupid of both of us - me for letting him escape. Him for trying to run away since he'd lose, too. Guess he was hoping to take his enemy with him.

I didn't know where he went, but Zearth can sense life signs. Problem is that I didn't know which was his. So I had to kill everyone individually. It took about... thirty six hours? Less than the forty needed to kill everyone. But not short.

The father of one of the other pilots - he was taking video of it. To show people back in our world, to prove to them that we were doing our best for them.

But yeah, that's how I died. I used up my 'life energy' (whatever the hell that means) to make the robot move.

[faceblocks]

thirty six hours


[less than the requisite forty! she wants to joke, but everything that comes to mind is awful. mean. bitter and angry. and the people who she's angry at wouldn't hear - she'll never meet them most likely. and it wouldn't help jun at all. shit like this. games like this. this is how you break people's minds. this is how you break people for good.]

you did do your best
but what they asked of you was fucking impossible

the only mistake made here
not one you made at all

fuck those people right in the eye
im so sorry

and i know that doesnt mean shit
and it doesnt do anythin g

[icanhearscreams]

No, it doesn't.

I knew what would happen when I piloted. The others didn't. I still signed up anyway. Maybe that's stupid, but... after what my sister did I couldn't just let us go undefended.

She was only ten for fuck's sake

[He has to stop for a few moments to wipe away his tears. He shouldn't be crying - it makes him feel weak and out of control. But He can't help it. He's just so sad and frustrated...]

im just so tired of the nightmares vi

i still wake up screaming sometimes

sometims i can still hear the screams of the people i killed

i know that makes me crazy but fuck it

[faceblocks]

[ten. she thinks of powder at ten.]

you think you know everything when youre young
i thought i did
no matter what you thought you knew
you couldnt have really known

i wanted to go to war at fourteen
at fifteen
i thought i knew what that meant
what that was

you were trying to be brave
trying to figure out how to do the right thing
and a bunch of fuckers
how the fuck



[and BAM SHE IS NOW ON VOICE because that's a hot button]

Nope. That doesn't make you crazy. Hearing voices like that? It probably means you're sane even if you feel crazy. Even if that does make you crazy? Well, fuck that, too. What does that even mean? You feel what you feel, and I...

[i have nightmares too she wants to say, but this isn't about her. she'll save it for another time. but:]

...where are you right now?

[icanhearscreams]

[He's about to respond to the text when it switches to voice. There's a long silence for a few moments before he sighs, his voice rough and cracking.]

I'm... at home. I... I guess it's home now. It's Manabu's house, along with some others. He took me in after I couldn't sleep from the nightmares.

I'm just... tired. Some nights I can sleep but... other nights any little sound will wake me up.

[faceblocks]

I know Manabu. He's ...good people.

Are you alone right now?

[icanhearscreams]

He is. He's been giving me a job and a house and... I can't help but feel like I don't deserve it.

... Yeah, I am. Why?

[faceblocks]

You can feel like that, but that doesn't make it true. Our own heads can really be assholes sometimes, especially about ...us.

I've got an idea. Bear with me, and I'll be there in a bit if you're okay with that. It's the Roost, yeah? You're living in it? Above it?

[she lived basically in a bar, once, in another life.]

[icanhearscreams]

Crenshaw. I can draw you a map - drew one for Falco a few days ago.

[He's not gonna comment on the asshole brains thing. He knows, it's just... hard.]

[faceblocks]

[she remembers the mention of jun in falco's post now - now that she's more focused, and that a clear line of mention's been made. there had been something about an apology, yeah. what an unexpected ride that whole series of conversations had been. she should check to see if all the borrowed things have been returned. but that can wait - she's not going to pry into their business now - and last she heard, falco was not in any danger of losing a hand or two.]

Okay.

[she'll set off as soon as it comes, in her hunter gear rather than casual clothes - bag and kit at the ready even though it's crenshaw, and supposedly safe as houses. heh. can't be too careful now that more weird shit has started.]

[icanhearscreams]

[He realizes she's coming over and so he heads downstairs. It's... a modest house, given that there's a lot of people living in it. There's not too much of an issue, though there's weirdly a tent in the living room?]

[Whatever.]

[He sits on the couch and waits for her - after making some tea. He has no idea if she drinks tea, but it seems like the thing to do.]

[faceblocks]

[she will drink anything. except possibly a flaming shot. she's quick about it, and finds the residence without issue - a good credit goes to the map she was given. she'll knock, because that's what you're supposed to do.]

[icanhearscreams]

[He's a little surprised she didn't come in via a window or something, but he opens the door and lets her in, closing it behind her.]

... Everything okay?

[She didn't really explain why she wanted to come over, after all.]

[faceblocks]

[...she thought about it.]

I think so? I wanna try something if you're cool with it. It's only a little weird, and we don't have to hug or anything.

It's not more crunches, either.

Do you have a place you like to sit? I need to sit near you, I think.

[headtilt. is that a ...tent?]

[icanhearscreams]

Uh.

[He motions to the couch and brings the tea over to the little table in front of it.]

Good. You know I'm not the hugging type.

[He'll just... settle into the couch, then.]

[faceblocks]

[she knows. she pretends she isn't either - and maybe it's that she used to be and that had been beaten out of her - lost to suspicious and trauma and a whole host of things. she pretends not to care about a lot of things, and sometimes she forgets she's pretending.

gonna help herself to that tea, though, before she sits down next to him, but not too close.]

How often you get nightmares?

[icanhearscreams]

[He thinks about it and sighs. It's not every night, but...]

At least a few times a week. It's... really annoying. Why?

[He's not really the type to admit that but... Vi is safe.]

[faceblocks]

I get 'em too. I can't do shit about mine right now but ...I might be able to help a little with yours.

[she sighs a little, looks down, lets a bit more of her guard drop. she doesn't have to have all her shit together here, not for this.]

I'm not sure how long it'll take or if it'll even work, but I wanna test it before I go giving you a bunch of false hope. Think of something vaguely shitty. Not nightmare level bad. Just something that sets your teeth on edge.

And then tell me if it's less ...annoying after a couple minutes.